When my children were small, I was a stay at home mom. I had the most tiring, multi-task and detail oriented job. As rewarding as it was, there were times I wanted to rip my hair out. My husband, like most dads, didn’t quite get how demanding motherhood was; that it include being a wife, cook, housemaid, nurse and much more.

I was alone most of the day by myself. Between getting poop under my nails, and/or throw up on my favorite shirt, I didn’t know who I was anymore. There just seemed to be no time for me. I often craved contact with the outside world. I had friends, but they all had full time regular jobs. I started my family when I was young; most of my friends were ten years my senior. I fell in-between age groups. They either didn’t have kids, or they were almost adults.

My day seemed to be pretty routine, but this one particular day, there was a knock at my door. It was like no other. I could almost hear the friendliness in the rhythm. I thought this was odd because I was not expecting anyone. I carefully took a look out the window. There were two young girls. I wondered why they were there and quickly unlocked my chain, so that I could open the door.

They introduced themselves as Mormon Missionaries. They asked if they could come in and speak with me for a while. I was thrilled to have someone to talk with besides my little ones, so I said yes.

We talked for a long time. They told me about themselves and how far they were from home. I thought they were so brave. I don’t think I could have done something like that at that age.

They told me a story about Joseph Smith, founder of the Church. Joseph was praying really hard when a brilliant light came into the room. He was visited by the angel Moroni. I found this fascinating. The story lingered in my mind for several days.

My apartment at the time was on the first floor. Outside, there wasn’t much room for my kids to run around. The parking lot was right outside my front door. I liked to sit on the step with them while they played. I would day dream how nice it would be, if I were to be visited by an angel, you know like this Joseph Smith.

One evening I was home alone. My husband was working late and the kids were asleep. I finally got up the strength to ask God for my visitation. I was ready. I wanted all the answers about life to be answered. I knew it would rejuvenate my soul, and I would be whole again.

I went into my room, closed the door and began to pray really hard. I asked God to give me a sign to show me that everything was going to be okay. I swore up and down that if I had an experience, I would be good for the rest of my life. I promised to preach the word of God to everyone I met.

I kept my eyes shut while I waited patiently. Suddenly, there was a light that began to enter the room. Could I really be having a Mormon moment!? I closed my eyes even tighter and waited for the moment of truth. My heart was racing with excitement. The adrenaline warmed my body as it traveled to every cell. I wasn’t sure what was going to happen. I wasn’t even sure if I was really ready. I started to get nervous as the light grew brighter and brighter.

My head quickly filled with all kinds of doubts. At this point my curiosity became fear. I had, had enough. With my eye still vaulted shut, I then prayed for the light to go away. I told God that I was not ready yet. I didn’t want my visitation anymore! As soon as I requested this, the light was gone.

My heart was still racing, and I was afraid to open my eyes. I didn’t want to see something I wasn’t ready for. I took a couple of deep breaths and gathered my thoughts.

Just then, I heard a car door slam. It startled me, so I lifted my head up off the pillow and looked out my bedroom window. It was my neighbor getting out of her car. I was confused for a moment then realized what had happened.

With extreme disappointment I became aware of the fact that there was no angelic light coming from the heavens. It was my neighbor’s head lights beaming into my window as she pulled into the parking spot.

Boy did I feel like a fool. How could I allow myself to be so stupid to think God would actually send me an angel. ( I would find out later in life, that I have many angels around me)

Though the lights came from the car, I do now believe, that at that exact moment God was hearing me. I think he wanted to show me that I was not as ready as I thought I was.

Be careful what you pray for. I know we like to think that we have it all together, but most of the time we are wrong. If you ever do receive a gift from an angel, be sure to be thankful.