09-06-2007
Death and the Dying
I had the opportunity to speak with a spirit whose heart is breaking because his wife is ill with cancer. I usually do my hands on work in person, so it felt a little weird to talk about things over the phone.
There is an emptiness with me; a feeling of incompletion! It is hard for me to explain. Once that part of me opens, it is hard to close it until I see it through. I do not know these people, and frankly I don’t know if the wife would want to meet with me.
Death, the inevitable transition from this life to the next, is one of the hardest, most painful obstacles we will face as human beings!
Because we have a conscious intelligential mind, the awareness of what lies ahead can not be denied.
We spend and invest so much of our time with the ones we love. We do so to such a degree that we actually have parts of us that belong to other people and vice versa.
When someone dies we say a part of us has died as well. This is because the part of us that lived through the other person has no where left to dwell; a disconnection; the loss.
The hurt that comes from watching a loved one fade away right before your eyes, leaves one feeling helpless and fustrated. Remember this body is physical. It is a shell housing a beautiful spirit that is getting ready to go home.
Where does a person stand without the constant defining once found through that loved one. Look into your heart and you will find the strength to continue on.
Standing alone against the world, stripped of all barriers, left raw and vulnerable, how does one see past the blades of grief? There is nothing easy about losing someone you love.
I think it is absolutely crucial to start the process, if possible, before the dying day. Grieving in the sense of acceptance and love.
Knowing that you will be reunited once again, and being able to enjoy the time that is now, staying in the present, and deeply bonding strengthens the soul. Taking it one moment, one hour, one day at a time is all one can do.
My blessing are with the family and friends who have a loved one preparing to transcend; God bless!
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September 7th, 2007 at 12:58 am
Death is so inevitable; it is a fact of life. It is something we all go through. We have that much in common, amongst all of us. But, it’s difficult to even take comfort in that commonality. Death is very frightening. Sometimes I lay in bed at night and a great fear wells up inside of me. I speak to myself in my mind, “Sophia, some day you’re going to die. Someday all this will end.” Part of me is afraid of the pain I might feel, but the rest is afraid that everything will just cease. I am very hopeful that there is an afterlife. I wish I had proof now.
Losing loved ones is also something we all face, but that doesn’t make it any easier. I dread the day I lose my husband, my parents or my sister. Who knows, I may go before them, but still that fear lingers. I don’t yet know what life will be like without them.
September 7th, 2007 at 5:18 am
Hi Lucid,
It is hard for the human mind to let go sometimes because it thinks death is the end. Like you said, when someone we love dies, a part of us dies too. I look at death as another passage of life, like a graduation or a badge of honor. The body may disappear, but the spirit is still very much alive. I heard a quote once, “When I die, speak to me as if I’m still here.”
My neighbor’s husband died in her arms. She said she wished that there was something that she could do for him and I told her, “You were there giving him love during last days.”
We have to live and love as if it is our last day on earth.
September 7th, 2007 at 5:07 pm
Lucid,
Very beautiful thoughts. Death is truly very difficult for many, even more difficult because their is so much which is unknown. The void that is left when someone passes on is real. The key as you said, is to live in the “now”. Live in the now and enjoy each moment and that will help us get through the grieving process.
September 7th, 2007 at 5:26 pm
It is so weird how death and birth are similar. With birth the baby comes down a dark tunel (most of the time, except C-Sections), takes it first breath and sees bright light. With death they say you take your last breath, there is a dark tunnel, and then a bright light.
It scares me to no end. I use to have anxiety attacks about it. I have gotten alil better over the years, but I still fear it.
Nice warm words Lucid!
September 8th, 2007 at 2:10 am
I really loved this post, I think it was beautifully said. I have fears over dying and think about it entirely too much. My husband says I am morbid… I just don’t want to leave too soon - while my kids are young. So much so that I have a panic attack while trying to fall asleep.
I am thankful that I believe that dying isn’t final or it would really be scary. Thanks Lucid.
September 8th, 2007 at 3:44 am
Good evening Lucid,
I just finished reading about your death and dying writing. It was wonderful. Once you have lived to be 60 and older you start to see your family and friends dwindling away. Usually it’s the grand parents that go first. I remembered when my mother died, my Grandma wished it was her that went instead of her own 2 children. Grandma lived to be 95 years old.
I am so grateful that I have the knowledge that there is a living God and he loves us. I love the fact that I can see my Mom,Dad,sister, and grandparents when I leave this world. It is so hard on us beings that are left behind. They hopefully go on to a better place if they are worthy to live with our Heavenly Father.
Watching our loved ones being ill is horrible! I’ve done that one a couple of times. When it’s an older person, you miss them of course but when you have a grand child that is sick and sufferring it’s a different ball game altogether. You feel so helpless you don’t know what to do! So sometimes we have to rely on prayers for that child and have as many people as you can to pray for that child. It is a wonderful thing to be able to communicate to our Father that way.
Miracales happen all the time, but you must keep you faith in order for it to work.
I guess I wrote enough for my first time. Thanks so much for you and your community of people. I read it almost every day. It’s wonderful.
September 8th, 2007 at 2:30 pm
Hi Sophia good morning!
I too have these conversations with myself. It is a scary thing! I have a firm belief that we continue to exist after this life, but I know it is not in the same manner. I believe for me, this is where my lack of comfort lies.
I guess it is just like anything else, if we had solid proof that everything would be ok after any kind of change, we wouldn’t be so hesitant; so afraid!
Be well and have a good weekend of relaxation!
September 8th, 2007 at 2:42 pm
Hello Alexys, how are you?
Death is the passage into the next phase of life; it is a sacred occurence. We hold our lives and dying with such high regard and respect.
I like that you mentioned how one should still speak as if they are there. I do this with my father. I know he is near by. He has proven this to me on more than one occassion.
We should try and live our lives like it is our last day on earth
Have a great weekend!
September 8th, 2007 at 2:50 pm
Hello Mark!
Death in its’ own right is beautiful. Our soul is set free. No more limits, no more pain, no more worry. It is those we leave behind that suffer.
Living in the present keeps us grounded. If we let our mind go to far, it may be too late when it returns.
I try and fill my void with the belief that we all will be reunited in due time!
Have a wonderful weekend and be well!
September 8th, 2007 at 2:57 pm
Hi Angie!
There are alot of similarities between life and death. Here is another one for ya’.
The mother and child are connected as one while the baby is in her womb. The umbilical cord is attached to the placenta, which is attached to her womb. They are not fully seperated until the placenta detaches, and that cord is cut. Once it is, there is no reattaching it. Same with death. Our spirit and our physical body are attached, once that life line is severed, death occurs and there is no turning back.
It is pretty interesting; the facts!
Thanks for your thoughts. Have a super weekend!
September 8th, 2007 at 3:05 pm
Hello Cassie, how are you?
I don’ think you are morbid. Some of us just give death a little more thought then others. I also feel part of that may be, if we keep ourselves in full denial, it won’t haunt us as much.
I am a realist. I like to be aware of as much as I can, even if it is uncomforatble. Everyone is different, and everyone deals in a way in-which they are ok with; I try not to knock anyone’s methods of dealing. We are all on different levels.
I would suggest try thinking about something else before going to sleep though, it could interfere with a good nights’ rest.
Thank you for sharing!
September 8th, 2007 at 3:16 pm
Hello Gracey and Welcome!
It is very hard watching some one you love in pain, or having their own set of fears. It is very difficult to deal with not being able to cure them and make them well again.
I know when my father was ill, there were plenty of days where I wished I could take some of his illness away; just make him well enough to speak one last time!
This is why I will mention again that it is so important to stay in the moment, and express your feelings and thoughts with your loved ones now.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts, good to hear from you!
September 11th, 2007 at 12:52 am
Having come very close to death myself, once you face it in its entirety, it actiually isn’t hard at all, Lucid… It is just a letting go. A peacefulness almost…
It is I think difficult and painful for those that resist and fight and do not want it to be so… You never want to lose a loved one. But denying the truth doesn’t make it any easier… Nor change the loss and the heartache…
September 12th, 2007 at 6:11 pm
Hi Annie!
Your right! The more you fight the harder it is. That goes for all forms of change, and death it one of the biggest ones.
Glad your here
September 13th, 2007 at 6:14 am
This posting certainly offers food for thought. My most recent related experience was the passing of my grandparents. My grandmother was 95 and died 2 days after her 72nd wedding anniversary. Two days after her funeral, her 97 year old-husband became bed-ridden. About 5 weeks later, he passed.
Although living far away, I made the opportunity to travel and spend time with my grandfather before his passing. He spoke very little, yet explained he had lost his will to live. I told him I sensed angels would come for him when they were ready. He was impatient for transcendance and stopped eating and drinking a considerable period. He chose to wither away. I believe he has reunited with his wife on the other side. I’m happy that he made his transition. I prefer to celebrate life and what I gain from knowing people as long as I do.
September 14th, 2007 at 8:47 am
Sorry for your loss Liara! To lose two people in the family so close together is hard. God bless them for living to such an advanced age. I see they were able to spend alot of time together, and that in itself is a true blessing!
Thank you for sharing your story
!